Nuggets Part Deaux
A man's manliness can be determined by the number of things he has broken on purpose (I claim 3 pairs of headphones, a bicycle, a tree and 2 lawn gnomen -- long story).
When I am in Kroger's and "I Just Died in Your Arms" by Cutting Crew comes on the Muzak, I will start singing.
If you want to know what it feels like to be the smartest person around, go to an American Idol internet forum.
Beavers are inherently funny. It doesn't matter what happens in a story, as long as it has a beaver it's going to be funny. Even just saying beaver kinda makes you giggle a little. Go ahead, try it. Beaver. Heh.
The Reagan Rule -- I will never date any woman that was not born during the tenure of President Ronald Reagan (1981-89). Anything older or younger than that just seems creepy.
Lynyrd's Law of Love -- Any woman that cannot name a single Lynyrd Skynyrd song or thinks Lynyrd Skynyrd is a person is automatically disqualified.
Exemptions from the above rule include any woman who:
-can recite lines from Smokey and the Bandit.
- is hott.
Any movie that contains midgets AND truckers can't go wrong.
Holt's Rule -- No individual can be laughed at, looked down upon, or otherwise ridiculed for engaging in consensual lewd conduct with an undesirable partner, if and only if, said individual has not seen action in more than six (6) months.
Veggie burgers suck. Sorry, I just felt like sharing.
PeeWee's Law -- The amount of comments I get on any given post is directly proportional to the number of instances the word midget appears in it.
Singing along to a Dixie Chicks song causes one to question one's own masculinity.
The Burger King is watching you right now. 
If you've never been to a flea market, you're living a life unfulfilled.
All movies can be broken down into two categories: the ones that have Burt Reynolds and the ones that do not.
Your IQ directly correlates to the amount of time you spent as a child watching Saved by the Bell. I'll let you guess whether it's a positive or negative trend.
You get 10 Extra-Cool points every time you leave me a comment. |